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We’re not really going to argue with you on that one.But there is something so uplifting, something so toe-tappingly spectacular about a roomful of people way too old to be teenagers, playing teenagers, chasing each other around a classroom asking “Where does the pollen go?

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” I simply quit devoting attention to anything that didn’t immediately contribute to my survival, and next thing you know I’ve got no more right to get behind the wheel than your typical One Direction fan. As online confessions go, it might sound pretty tame, but in terms of what it reveals about my character it’s more shameful than admitting I’m a Brony. Even more humiliating, what kind of grown man from can’t legally drive?When I moved to New York from Dallas there was no question that I wouldn’t be bringing my car.If we start dating, I will have a difficult time Zipcar-ing you to romantic destinations outside the city -- our apple picking will happen at Gristedes. I’ll probably risk driving because you’re borderline legally blind, but it’s going to be awkward when the cops don’t buy that excuse and haul me away in front of your kids, who will probably assume that I robbed a bank.Which is better than them knowing the truth -- that by the laws of every state in the union, their uncle is only statutorily empowered to play with their Tonka trucks.When it came to dating in New York as a 30-something executive in private equity, Dan Rochkind had no problem snagging the city’s most beautiful women.

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