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We talked to seven lesbian couples who have been together for 30 years or more in hopes of getting some advice about making a relationship last a lifetime.

Trust is more than just having faith that she won’t cheat, it’s an inner confidence that she has your back.But like with most things in the world, you can usually gauge something based on what your gut is telling you.If you’re having a bad feeling about something, you should figure out why. This is a huge thing that you should pat yourself on the back for, if you are able to talk out your issues instead of fighting about them. You talk through charged topics without anyone crying or interrupting one another. When something is bothering one of you, it never festers or blows over. You support each other in things that you’re passionate about, even if the other one isn’t.As someone who has been in a relationship for 10 years, I can tell you that I have had some of the most magical and breathtaking times of my life over the last decade.I can also tell you there have been some absolutely devastating times as well, and it’s been in those dark times that finding strength in each other as individuals and as a team is where putting in the work is most important, as well as the most fulfilling. Talk consciously about money early on- there are a number of options you can take – a few entail switching who pays to every other date or if you would like to keep your finances more separate – split the expenses evenly.

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