She’s, by her own definition, a DWJF — divorced, white, Jewish female — and she’s looking for romance.
So why, Ellen, would you take your quest to the land of apartment scams and Ikea dressers?
Try posting a few pictures and let the audience play hot or not in their own heads. And they really don’t want to discuss them in a first email. This is especially lovely for those of us browsing at work (We’re not supposed to do that? Do you not know that it’s not supposed to look like a purple question mark?
Or, to put it more simply: OKCupid gets me data; Craigslist gets me laid. The same way you land a good job: by becoming the one who is desired, rather than the one doing the desiring. Tell the person you’re meeting that you’ve set up this plan with a friend, and then check in with your friend when you agreed to do so. If it works out well for you, thank your partner the next morning with a sweet email (and if you genuinely hope to see them again sometime, this is a good time to mention it).
Saying it three times in one ad doesn’t work, either. If the person you’re writing to can’t understand you, that’s her problem, isn’t it?
And it really doesn’t work if you post a picture and prove yourself wrong. Oooh, you own a car and a house and a toaster and a lawn mower? We all love getting emails about how “Wow, you travel? I have totally been to every township in Pennsylvania! No one wants to discuss babies or your mother on a first date. I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT SHOUTING MOSTLY JUST MAKES US WANT TO TAKE OUR PANTS OFF. Preferably, your pants should be about to fall off. This makes you sound like a text-messaging 14-year-old girl. If you are, please stop dating on Craigslist and go make a sparkly unicorn book cover or something. It’s also wonderful if your penis is a weird color or shape.
“I tried it all — JDate, Match, e Harmony…” Her voice trails off, as if she’s thinking hard. And, like the rest of the millions of people registered on dating sites and apps across the internet, she finds dating exciting, if not simultaneously exhausting. “When I go on dates now I say, you know, ‘are you completely, verifiably divorced,’ you know, ‘are you completely single?
So after a grueling 17 years in the online dating world, Ellen decided to get back to basics. I'm kind of old fashioned so if you are genuinely single and want to meet someone educated and reasonable, please get in touch. Do you have some free time on weekends for conversation and companionship? ’ Because I learned separated really means married.” According to a Pew Research study from April, 6% of singles ages 55-64 are online dating, a far cry from the overwhelming 22% of 25-to-34-year-old singles signed up to find love.
Plus, let’s be honest: we don’t actually know what we need most of the time (especially when it involves change and newness). Your odds of getting laid through that route are way too slim. Stick to the details that are relevant to what you’re looking for. (I haven’t seen many of these, but I hear they’re common for men seeking women.) Ignore them. b) Generic introductions that people are sending to a whole bunch of people. You can tell a lot by a person’s writing style, how they describe themselves, and how they describe sex. Take the same care in your reply as you took in your original post.